LOVE AND DATING SERIES - Part 2 B

 First Things First.

Hi beloved,

How are you doing? You made it again today, I welcome you.

Hope you've enjoyed this series so far. You can always get posts you missed out on by checking our archives.

No doubt, from the previous post, "God's Heart for Relationships", you have seen the place our relationships hold in God's heart.

"Search the Book of the Lord and see all he will do; not one detail will miss; not one kite will be there without a mate, for the Lord has said it, and his Spirit will make it all come true."

Isaiah 34:16; The Living Bible.

If God so cares for kites as to say not one of them will be without a mate, how much more you, His child of love? He is keenly interested in your dating; Jesus wants to be vitally, personally and passionately involved in the day-to-day, minute details of your life, my friend. Now, how would you like therefore, to consider some of the precepts He has regarding dating?

FIRST THINGS FIRST.

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:... A time to love..."

Ecclesiastes 3:1, 8.

Friend, let me start by saying, God created you and has planned a great destiny for you even before the foundations of the world; He has a custom-made purpose for your life - just like every manufacturer makes a product to serve a clear-cut purpose. Also, God made life to be lived in seasons, times and phases, and would love for you to pursue only those things that add value to your life at each phase of your life (see 1 Corinthians 10:23).

Dating is not a sin; it is not wrong. But you'll agree with me that the right thing done at an inappropriate time becomes the wrong thing. So, dating is not officially wrong until it is done at the wrong time, with the wrong person, with wrong principles and for the wrong reason.

The thing is, many young people date for different reasons. Some for fun, others just for conformity - to blend in with the trend - "That's what all my friends are doing; I don't want to be the weirdo." Sadly enough, none of these is the reason God permits us to date. He intended dating to ultimately culminate in marriage. As such, if I'm not ready for marriage, I think I don't have the first reason to date. You may consider this as being too rigid, but it's not, when you look at it from another vantage point.

Suppose a woman decides to take her wares to the market when others are returning home. Now, that's absurd, but what's happening? She is doing the right thing, but certainly at the wrong time - except she intends to sell to ghosts!

So also, when it comes to dating, there has to be proper timing - what's most important and urgent for me to do at this very time or phase of my life?

For example, I can't waste this opportunity I have: my parents are alive and ready to fund my studies, so I don't get to bother my head about food, other bills and what not. It would somewhat be unwise of me if, instead of making the most of this opportunity now by concentrating on my studies, I start dating. (And you know, relationships are time consuming and come with a lot of responsibilities to meet.) By devoting part of my study time to build my relationship, of course it's going to tell off on my grades since I can't keep up with the demands of both at the same time. Recalling the words of Jesus, "No one can serve two masters." (Matthew 6:24). Therefore, the thing is, I'll study, attain a very reasonable and employable level of education before selling out totally to dating. How about you? Besides, wouldn't it be 'cooler' if you've got extra cash to spice up some of your outings? God wants you to have a great life, my friend.

Furthermore, God is also concerned about your state of spiritual sanctity and chastity - He sees your desire to preserve it. However, mounting pressures from peers and raging hormones can pose a real threat to that, especially at the bloom of youth. Now, getting involved with a member of the opposite sex would be like providing more fuel for the fire. The Scripture wisely notes that, "Where there is no wood, the fire goes out" (Proverbs 26:20a). Would it be wise of us, therefore, to abstain from anything serious with the opposite sex in the meantime until we're ready to get married? By so doing, we would be heeding the admonition to "...flee youthful lusts..." (2 Timothy 2:22). It will also afford us some time for discovery of life purpose, personal development and pursuit of our God-given dreams.

In closing, God wants to make us into wonders to our generation, but without our cooperation, that can't be achieved. We cooperate with God in this by paying attention to the things that matter most at each phase of our life - putting first things first and pursuing what God has for us per time.

I've found these questions a great lot helpful, maybe you will too;

                --- Why do I want to date?

                --- Am I ready for marriage, or am I being too hasty?

Scripture counsels:

"Oh, let me warn you, sisters of Jerusalem: Don't excite love, don't stir it up, until the time is ripe - and you're ready."

Song of Songs 2:7; also 3:5 and 8:4, The Message Translation.

But the question is, "When is the time ripe?"

Would you watch out for my next post to see this?

Until then, have yourself a splendid day.